Dear Room mate
Sometimes I wonder if we are the same couple who vowed 'till death do us apart', wrote the endearing lines sealing with kiss when got engaged, who celebrated one week or one month of marriage anniversary as same frivolousness as if touching the golden line of 50 years. Our world was one and I felt being the axis of it.
But then descended a few years and though we are physically together, but for emotional sphere, it seems an invisible moat is created between us and the drawbridge is pulled.
I married the man I adore, and you know for me its a land between love and worship, I love when you take charge of things, when your protecting instincts are working at adrenaline rush, but once a while, show me you treat me as an equal, that you respect my decisions and choice, find me intelligent enough to seek my advice and good enough to share your worries and problems, that I am dependable. Because when you don't, I feel you dont find me compatible anymore and then i start nagging which frustrate hell out of you and you demand your breathing space.
You hate me if I ask, "Am I putting on?", but I ask because you are my greatest strength and weakness at the same time. I am insecured of loosing your interest, of what if you don't find me attractive any more. I know you believe its too formal for something deep and intimate bond we share, but your occasional " I love you" will smooth away the creases of doubts I sometimes harbour.
I never want to have the sole claim over you, and I know that your family, friends are an integral part of you, just like me and kids. I dont expect large overflowing bouquets, but a casual plucking of flower from our garden exclusively for me can still make my heart go for a quick waltz.
It light up my eyes when I see yours turning green with envy, when someone else look at me. I love when you flashes signs of " stay away, she is mine"
Please hubby dear, show me I matter to you, that my voice still sounds music to you, that though your phone and laptop and friends and T.V. is important, but not important than me. That you are happy I happened in your life, that I still am gorgeous and b'ful despite of progressing in age.
I know you accused me that I got changed, that I always busy managing household or taking care of family or solving problems of friends and no longer have time for you, but to confess, I am not a good homemaker, I am overtaxing myself only to please you, you are my world and I am just trying to fit in yours.
This is just to remind you as well that I am a human being too, with feelings, anger, frustrations, desire. Please do not neglect me when I am not at my best, hold me in your arms, let me cry with my head on your chest and your arms encircling me, when I am at all time low.Please try to help me taking care of family, do not shun me when I am bitter.
Can we once a while forget all responsibilities and behave like recently fallen in love, stealing glances in public, a surprise when least expected, the words spoken aloud that mostly left unsaid, a blooming stem on dining table, a light kiss and declaration that I am looking hot when I take extra efforts to look like one ( because thats for you my genius of jerk, not for your friends and certainly not for their wives) and sometimes a public acknowledgement that you are proud of me ( promise, i will take extra care to make you one next time)
Forever yours
the woman you married
P.S. ( there is a trail of sticky notes for you to expedite a treasure hunt, and yeah, when you want, you still kiss like dream, and can give any hollywood hunk, a chase for his money)
[ NOT ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, YET TO FIND MY MAN TO WHOM I CAN WRITE (crossing my fingers, hope I need not) THE LETTER ; ) ]
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